$314.12

A week or so ago, I got a message from my kidney transplant coordinator. She told me that my nephrologist had gone over my blood work and decided to drop the dose of one of my immunosuppressants. My dose at the time was 12mg a day and he wanted me to drop it to 10mg a day.

I thought ok, that’s cool. I currently take four 3mg pills of this medication. It’s called advagraf. I happen to have some 1mg pills left over from last year, so I’ll use one of those pills and three of the 3mg pills.  In the meantime, I responded to my transplant coordinator and asked that she call my pharmacy and leave a prescription for 10mg pills of advagraf for when I’ve run out of my current stock. I asked her to do 2 months per refill, as I usually ask for 3 months. There is a reason for this, which I will explain shortly.

For most of us, the start of the new year signifies a new beginning. Some people establish New Years’ resolutions. Others simply see it as a clean slate. Me, I get a small sense of dread. I feel this dread because I know the deductible period for my medical coverage through work starts again. That means that the first few prescriptions that I fill will cost me an arm and a leg.

As my current cache of advagraf began to dwindle, I know the time is near for me to fill this new prescription along with some other ones that are coming due as well. Not wanting to be paralyzed by sticker shock, I called my pharmacy to ask what the damage would be for just that one medication. $314.12. I cheerfully thanked the pharmacy tech that I spoke to. I didn’t want to let on that I felt like I was gonna throw up. I feel this same way every year at this time.

When I told my transplant nurse to only give me a 2 month supply, it was because I knew it would cost me a whole bunch of money at once if I filled 3 months worth of advagraf at one time.

This one prescription costs me much more than half of my biweekly payroll deposit, and I almost always get 3 or 4 other prescriptions at the same time-pretty much an entire pay cheque. I also get coverage from the government-all I have to do is submit my prescription receipts and they will reimburse me some money based on the amount of money I make. Pretty cool, huh?

 No.

I’ve learned to stop wasting my time by mailing those receipts. I send these receipts and wait from 3 weeks to a month for a response…not including the occasions where things went wrong and things got delayed. My receipts were never received, so I had to go back to the pharmacy and track down all these receipts again and resend them; they don’t want photocopies. Or, there is a certain code missing from the prescription, and without that code, they cannot assess my claim. Gotta go back and have my doctor write a note with the code, or write a new prescription.  I always get a response back telling me that I would be betting zero dollars back, as I haven’t yet reached or surpassed my deductible. On the few occasions where I’ve actually gotten a few bucks back…they send you a letter telling you how much you’ll get back…then they MAIL a cheque about a month later. How about saving some time and sending me the cheque with the first letter!?

Hard core digressing.

I work part time right now. I’m looking for full time work in my field…but at the same time, I’m kinda scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to work full time. I’m scared that the stress of 40 hour work weeks will be too much. But I cannot stay in my current job either, as I actually really dislike what I’m doing. I’ve been doing this going on 13 years now…and I’m ready to move on. If I don’t work full time, I’ll never be able to move out from my parents’ house to a place with my boyfriend. But, if I do work full time…am I setting myself up for failure? If I do move out and work full time…sure, I’ll be making more money, but my other expenses will increase exponentially as well.

I don’t know…I guess all I can do is try. The role I’m in makes me feel tired, drained, and unmotivated. Maybe if I’m doing something where I feel challenged…challenged in the right way…i won’t feel so tired, drained, and unmotivated. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for me.

I’m currently making what I feel are the appropriate moves to help me go in the direction that I’m looking to go. I’m not the first one with a medical condition to work full time…all I can do is try.  Only time will tell.