Again?

I feel like I write a lot of “just one of those days” posts.

My day was fine. I went to work today. Work was fine. Then, I went to school. School was also fine. Then, I came home. I was fine.

I sat in bed and looked to the right. I saw my dialysis machine. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes.

I see my machine everyday. In fact, I sometimes feel happy to see it, knowing that I do not have to go to the hospital frequently just to do dialysis. Other times, like today, I’m like…why do I even have to think this to myself? Why do I even have to be “happy” about not going to the hospital?

Most days, I’m ok. Other days, it’s like…Im here, going to school and working part time, just trying to get by. Everyone else I know in school is doing that too…but they’re not dealing with endless boxes of dialysis supplies, dialysis, doctor’s appointments, kidney pagers, etc.

I’m sorry, but the whole thing just sucks sometimes.