Thursday, December 15, 2016
To be honest...based on my history, I really never thought I'd find someone as amazing as him...and a lot of my friends knew that I felt that way. I had dealt with a lot of shit, not only relationship wise, but health wise too. So when Greg came along and my friends saw how happy i was, they were all happy for me too.
Well...almost all of them.
Someone i used to be close to resented the fact that I was in a relationship. She was mad that I wasn't spending as much time with her after I met Greg as I was before.
I would say that i'm a bit of a late bloomer among my friends when it comes to relationships. My closest friends and I went to school with and grew up with began to get into relationships, then got married, then had children. At first, I didn't understand it. One of my best friends began to fade away a bit and I knew it was because she was focused on her relationship. I blogged about it. In my blog post I talked about how much I missed her. She happened to visit my blog and read it.
She understood. She called me, we talked about it, and we made a promise to hang out when possible, but to also understand that as we get older, our focus shifts a bit. For the most part, the goal of a relationship is either marriage or at least a long term commitment. The goal is to foster this relationship into something that will last forever. This goal was that this relationship would result in a family.
Years later, I found myself on the otherside. I met a wonder man who swept me off of my feet. We of course spent a lot of time together. So when I came across my (former) friend, she basically stated that I had abandoned my friends now that I was in a relationship. I never called anymore. It's interesting because I had sent her a few messages before that and she didn't respond. I messaged her again and challenged her for not responding. She said she was busy with her own stuff so I left it at that. She messaged me again and i didn't answer.
So for that reason i was shocked that she felt that I was abandoning my friends when I took me at least 3 messages to get a response from her. That was nearly a year ago.
I came to find the other day that she unfriended me from various social media sites.
Like, as people get older, things change. I'm spending time with someone who I plan on building a future with. I still manage to have relationships with my other friends. My friends that aren't mad at me for having a boyfriend. In gaining a boyfriend I lost exactly 1 friend, someone who clearly wasn't a friend to begin with or they would be happy that I'm happy.
I'm in a job that I love that just gave me an amazing bonus and an even more amazing raise. Greg and i are working hard to build our future together. I have zero time for needy, immature people.
I wish no one any ill will, but I won't be upset about someone unfriending me because I'm in a relationship and happy.
Friday, November 11, 2016
My pharmacist told me that this year's flu shot is more effective than last year's. Hmm, that's interesting. So I got my flu shot and away I went.
My arm ached for a bit after the shot, but it really started to hurt as the day went on. My arm and shoulder were so sore that Greg had to carry my purse. Greg usually walks on my right and puts his arm around me, but it was too painful to have his arm there.
As the evening came about, I began to actually feel nauseated. Unrelated, I began coughing and I was so nauseated that the coughing actually caused me to throw up. I took some Tylenol and some gravol and went to bed.
I woke up the next day and my arm was definitely still sore, but the nausea went away. Slowly but surely the pain faded away.
On Wednesday afternoon, I was lying down in bed watching tv when a shot of pain in my shoulder shook my entire body. It was so painful! I made my way around the house and made dinner as gently and gingerly as possible. In wasn't sure if this was some strange side effect of the flu shot so I googled my symptoms. Of course the first thing that comes up-heart attack.
I was pretty sure I wasn't having a heart attach for Christ sake.
I went for a massage this morning. My massage therapist did mention the fact that my left shoulder was more tender than the right so she really worked it.
For my own peace of mind, after my massage I headed to the ER.
Thankfully I was in and out of there on about an hour which is record breaking. The doctor suggested that it was muscular and my heart looked fine. He said he didn't think this had anything to do with the flu shot.
So here I am at home, alternating between heat and ice on my shoulder. I've never experienced anything like this before...and I didn't do any strenuous activity that could cause this...so I'm left wondering if it was, in fact, the flu shot that did this.
Monday, October 10, 2016
On Sunday, we went to this breakfast place on st. Clair (Boom is what it was called I think). It was great. It was your usual breakfast fare, but it was done well. In the evening, we got some wings and stayed in to watch the Jays game. Coincidentally, Greg and I fell asleep about half way through, but I woke up about 10 minutes before the game ended to go to the washroom. My stirring around woke Greg up. We realized that the game was tied and so we began to watch again. Our fall asleep/wake up timing was perfect.
Today, we caught an early showing of Mastermind at the theatre (11:45am!). It was funny. Crazy to believe that it was based on a true story. Or at least partially. In the late afternoon/evening, we watched Halloween 2 on Shomi (the Rob Zombie version).
I took tomorrow off so I have an extendo weekend! Xo
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
*this post was dated September 19. I must have been so exhausted that I forgot to hit the post button. My bad!*
My legs are toast.
There was a fire drill at my office yesterday. I work on the 28th floor. I'm sure you can put two and two together.
I'm big time feeling the effects today. A few of my coworkers are slowly shuffling around as their legs are feeling the effects too.
That is all.
Monday, September 19, 2016
My weekend was a quiet and restful one. Greg dropped me off at my friend/sis house to get my hair done on Saturday morning. In the afternoon, he picked me up and we went back to his place where his mom, dad, sister, and niece were visiting. Sienna, Greg's niece, is so sweet. She just turned one and is an absolute riot.
After they left, Greg and I planned to perhaps go see a movie. We got into bed to watch something on Netflix before getting ourselves together and heading to the theatre. We didn't stay awake long enough to even put a movie or show on. I woke up, lying on my stomach, with my nose in nestled in Greg's armpit, while Greg slept on his back with his arm around me. This was about 2 hours after we had gotten into bed.
We were perhaps a little ambitious with our plans, as both of us were feeling under the weather, and both of us really only wanted to go out to appease the other.
We spent another lazy hour in bed before getting online and ordering some dinner via the Just Eat app. I like this app not only because it gives you a variety of places to choose from, but also because you can almost always find a discount code online. I found a 20% discount code online and saved a bunch on our dinner.
Anyway, this isn't a Just Eat commercial lol. We got Chinese food from this place called Duckee. It was good stuff. The general Tao chicken was delicious.
On Sunday, we caught a 12:30 showing of Snowden. We got to Yorkdale early so we were able to have some brunch and Michel's, grab some coffee at Starbucks, then head over to the theatre. The rest of our day was pretty low key.
But today though. I got to work and was working on a number of things since my partner is off work for a short while. I then all of a sudden got an email invite for a meeting with regards to a manager's conference happening next week. The senior director asked me to bring the budget with me. Um...I hadn't created a budget. Now I had about 2 hours to "create" one lol. All this while still managing 3 other mailboxes and also responding to emails in my personal mailbox. On top of that, I was tasked with coordinating some work that is being done at our offices overnight. Some workers are coming in overnight to do stuff, so they have asked us to remove all of the stuff from our desks and put them into bins. They are actioning this in 4 steps so that everyone isn't putting all of their stuff in boxes at the same time.
Let's just say that I was getting pulled in every direction today. I've gotten most of the stuff out of the way in terms of emails sent on Friday after 4pm and up to Monday morning, but there is one mailbox that I've barely touched and it has at least 20 emails from 20 different candidates in it.
I love every minute of it!
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
The inevitable happened-i'm properly sick. I have a runny nose, cough, and my regular fatigue on top of that isn't helping either.
One of the advantages of my current role is the ability to work from home if need be. Just today my access request was completed to give me access to working from home. I tested it out today. It took a little while for me to get registered and figure out what to do, but I managed to get everything done.
Another advantage of my current role is the ease with which I can simply let my manager know that I need to rest and therefore will be coming into work later on in the day. Assuming there aren't any matters of specific urgency, it's great having such flexibility.
Now, time to go and get my fill of my fluids.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
I went to the pharmacy the other day to pick up some epo which I am to use once every two weeks to help with my lack of energy. I injected my first dose two weeks ago, so I'll be doing the second this week.
I tell ya, it's been a battle. The part that sucks is that my body won't let me sleep in very much on the weekends. Midday naps have been my saviour when possible.
In light of this, I asked my manager last week to grant me access to citrix, which is essentially a small device that I can use to log into my computer from home and actually have access to my work information. On those days when I feel like I just can't stomach the commute to work, I can wake up, log in, and still get my work done. He gave me permission to set myself up with citrix, so I've submitted the appropriate online forms to give myself access.
Otherwise, work is going well. I'm sad though, because Friday was my manager's last day before he goes on to a new role. Thankfully his building won't be far so we can still meet for lunch now and then, but reporting into him has been amazing. He gave me a chance in HR when no one else would. He believed in me, and I'm glad that I was able to join this amazing team with amazing people and thrive. I'm not sure how he can be replaced, as he's just so brilliant.
Anyhow, I'm going to go and wash this facial mask off of my face and get myself ready for bed. I'm beat..!
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Earlier this month, I started a once a week course of IV iron which lasted 3 weeks in total. I've been feeling really tired and getting up in the morning was becoming increasingly difficult. I've been fighting through it, as after I get up, get myself ready, and prepare to get out of the door, I feel better. But I've taken up drinking coffee, something I've never gotten into before. In my previous role, I'd have likely called in sick if I felt this way. Being glued to a desk and dealing with people would simply be too difficult. Also, people rely on me in my current role. If I wasn't there...lots could and would go wrong.
So after completing this 3 week course of iron, I waited until this past week to do bloodwork. What I found was that my hemoglobin was still low. Honestly, I didn't need a blood test to tell me this; I could feel it.
This weekend, Greg and I went to the Ex on Friday after I finished work. We got there around 5pm, and by 8pm I was so done. We got home and were pretty much in bed and asleep by 10pm.
The next day, we woke up and were on the road to Innisfil. Greg's parents are away on vacation so he's watching the dogs. We got to Innisfil, went shopping, and marinated the meat we bought for the barbecue we would have for dinner. Greg went outside to water the tree/lawn, so I went to lie down on the couch and cuddle with Primo. Before I knew it, I was full out sleeping.
Later on, we had our barbecue, took a shower, then hopped into bed. It was 8:30pm! By 9:30 or so we were both out cold.
The next day (today) we went to Nandos for an early dinner then came back home. We went to bed just to lie down with the dogs...again, fell asleep for an hour.
I called my nurse and left her a message asking her to look into my bloodwork to see what can be done to raise my hemoglobin, because this tiredness is getting to me!
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
This is definitely a change. I'm learning...I'm doing new things, and I'm feeling like my work is actually making a difference. Everyone is really nice. My priorities now are to try and remember everyone's name and to become comfortable with all of the processes and procedures in place. If anyone has a question about ANYTHING, be it a request for highlighters, the replacement of a broken headset, ordering business cards, responding to emails from potential job candidates, getting a new hire ready and set up with all the system access they'll need for when they arrive...or deleting all of their access after they've left...all of this falls on our shoulders. My partner has been here for 8 months and she's an absolute wiz. She's definitely a wealth of knowledge and definitely a Jill of all trades, so I look forward to continuing to work with and learn from her so that I too can be a "Jill of all trades". Tomorrow I have a business lunch scheduled. Me! A business lunch! So excited/exciting.
I've only been in this department for a short time...but in that time I've learned something very huge. What I've learned is that I NEVER want to do what I was doing before ever again. I never thought I could work full time, but I was wrong. I just couldn't work full time in the environment that I was previously in...and I hope to NEVER return. Hopefully after this temporary role is up, I'll either be able to stay in the same role, or, even better, apply to and be accepted into a greater role.
But for now...so far, so good. :-)
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
I thought ok, that's cool. I currently take four 3mg pills of this medication. It's called advagraf. I happen to have some 1mg pills left over from last year, so I'll use one of those pills and three of the 3mg pills. In the meantime, I responded to my transplant coordinator and asked that she call my pharmacy and leave a prescription for 10mg pills of advagraf for when I've run out of my current stock. I asked her to do 2 months per refill, as I usually ask for 3 months. There is a reason for this, which I will explain shortly.
For most of us, the start of the new year signifies a new beginning. Some people establish New Years' resolutions. Others simply see it as a clean slate. Me, I get a small sense of dread. I feel this dread because I know the deductible period for my medical coverage through work starts again. That means that the first few prescriptions that I fill will cost me an arm and a leg.
As my current cache of advagraf began to dwindle, I know the time is near for me to fill this new prescription along with some other ones that are coming due as well. Not wanting to be paralyzed by sticker shock, I called my pharmacy to ask what the damage would be for just that one medication. $314.12. I cheerfully thanked the pharmacy tech that I spoke to. I didn't want to let on that I felt like I was gonna throw up. I feel this same way every year at this time.
When I told my transplant nurse to only give me a 2 month supply, it was because I knew it would cost me a whole bunch of money at once if I filled 3 months worth of advagraf at one time.
This one prescription costs me much more than half of my biweekly payroll deposit, and I almost always get 3 or 4 other prescriptions at the same time-pretty much an entire pay cheque. I also get coverage from the government-all I have to do is submit my prescription receipts and they will reimburse me some money based on the amount of money I make. Pretty cool, huh?
I've learned to stop wasting my time by mailing those receipts. I send these receipts and wait from 3 weeks to a month for a response...not including the occasions where things went wrong and things got delayed. My receipts were never received, so I had to go back to the pharmacy and track down all these receipts again and resend them; they don't want photocopies. Or, there is a certain code missing from the prescription, and without that code, they cannot assess my claim. Gotta go back and have my doctor write a note with the code, or write a new prescription. I always get a response back telling me that I would be betting zero dollars back, as I haven't yet reached or surpassed my deductible. On the few occasions where I've actually gotten a few bucks back...they send you a letter telling you how much you'll get back...then they MAIL a cheque about a month later. How about saving some time and sending me the cheque with the first letter!?
Hard core digressing.
I work part time right now. I'm looking for full time work in my field...but at the same time, I'm kinda scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to work full time. I'm scared that the stress of 40 hour work weeks will be too much. But I cannot stay in my current job either, as I actually really dislike what I'm doing. I've been doing this going on 13 years now...and I'm ready to move on. If I don't work full time, I'll never be able to move out from my parents' house to a place with my boyfriend. But, if I do work full time...am I setting myself up for failure? If I do move out and work full time...sure, I'll be making more money, but my other expenses will increase exponentially as well.
I don't know...I guess all I can do is try. The role I'm in makes me feel tired, drained, and unmotivated. Maybe if I'm doing something where I feel challenged...challenged in the right way...i won't feel so tired, drained, and unmotivated. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for me.
I'm currently making what I feel are the appropriate moves to help me go in the direction that I'm looking to go. I'm not the first one with a medical condition to work full time...all I can do is try. Only time will tell.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED
In the post before my last post, I talked about my experience with my first colposcopy and the awkwardness that goes along with it. I also mentioned that there was another story that goes along with it. Well, here it is.
As I have a few times before, I arrived at the hospital where my appointment was. I sat in the waiting room and played World Chef on my phone as I had arrived for my appointment early. After about 30 minutes, I was called in.
It was the usual routine-I came in and chatted with the nurse who I chatted with briefly. I asked her to explain to me again what it meant that I had a "irregularities" as it related to the pap I had with my regular gynecologist prior to being referred to the specialist. She told me that it just meant that there were a few abnormal cells that they wanted to keep an eye on-nothing to be overly concerned about. Okay, no problem.
After our chat, I whipped off my Citizens for Humanity and my underwear and slung them over a nearby chair. I sat awkwardly on the bed/table with my feet in the stirrups, using the opportunity to take a snap chat of my feet in the stirrups and send it to my boyfriend in jest.
Then, nothing out of the ordinary happened. The doctor came in and performed the pap. I was given a pad to wear, as usual. I put my underwear and jeans back on and away I went.
I got home and settled myself in my room with a bowl of microwaved popcorn. It's actually a contraption that I bought online; it allows you to take regular popcorn kernels, put them in the bowl-like container, put the lid on, and microwave for 4-5 minutes. It's pretty cool! Anyhow, I digress.
I got up to go pee as I often do after my kidney transplant. When I was done, I wiped myself and looked at the tissue and noticed blood on it. I looked into the toilet and saw quiet a bit of blood, including actual clots. What the hell! Why am I bleeding this!?
Ok, maybe it wasn't just a regular pap-maybe they did a biopsy as well. They did a biopsy the first time I went to see that specialist, so perhaps they did another one. I kept that in mind as I continued to go to the bathroom and find a horror scene in the toilet after I had finished peeing.
The next day at work, I decided that it would be a good idea to call the specialist's office and ask for advice/direction. I was transferred to a nurse who told me that according to my chart, I only had a simple pap and NOT a biopsy.
"There's no chance that you're on your period, is there?" The nurse asked.
"Is there a chance that you're pregnant and are having a miscarriage?" She asked.
"Well...I'm out of ideas. I don't know WHY you're bleeding. I suggest going to emergency if you're soaking through pads and/or if you're very concerned.
Hmph. I decided to call Telehealth, knowing that they would likely ask me a gamut of questions which would end with them telling me to seek medical assistance in the next few hours, if not immediately. That's exactly what happened.
Freaked out, I told my manager that I had to leave the office early. I jumped onto the subway and over to the emergency room.
After a brief wait, I was seen by a doctor. The doctor used a speculum to crank me open and look inside. He said the bleeding was external and not internal, and it should heal up by itself soon.
"By the way, the speculum just cut you a bit more when I removed it...so you may notice more bleeding."
Um..is this would I came here for? To have my insides torn up worse than they already were?!
Anyhow, satisfied with the response I got, I collected my discharge papers and left. My luck-the bleeding stopped the very next morning.
I asked myself a few times if maybe I overreacted by going straight to emergency. Maybe! But c'mon. I'm anemic. I need to keep every last ounce of blood inside of me and not...everywhere else..!
Thursday, February 4, 2016
More often than not, I like getting a Brazilian wax done. I appreciate the "bareness", especially when it's "that time of the month". It also goes without saying that the boyfriend appreciates it too.
But, let's be honest. It kinda hurts. It actually kinda hurts more than "kinda". I have sensitive skin. Whenever I get a Brazilian wax done, aside from ripping out the hair, the wax also takes bits of my skin with it, causing bleeding and...well...searing pain. Hahah.
There is really only one place that I go and get my waxing done, and that's at aroma waxing (http://aromawcs.ca). A few years ago when I built up the nerve to get some waxing done, I did my google research and found aroma. It was relatively nearby and all of the reviews that I had read were really quite good. For a sensitive area like "down there", I'd prefer to have people who are used to doing this regularly...you know, as opposed to going to the nail shop or somewhere like that to get it done. Anyhow, after continuing my research on Aroma, I realized that they provide one of a few services for free for your first visit. Some of the choices were an underarm wax, upper lip, or a bikini line wax. Well...perfect. I booked my appointment for a free bikini wax.
When I got there, it was very nice inside and very clean as well. I was called in about 5 minutes after I arrived, which was great. After coming here a few times I soon realized that they always honour the appointment time that you made. No waiting around for service at Aroma. In fact, I've come a bit early on a few occasions and have been able to sneak in earlier than my appointment.
"I'm scared as shit" is basically what I told the lady that would be doing my waxing. She calmed my fears by saying it wouldn't be terrible. She didn't waste time-everything was quick quick quick. Put that leg here. Pull here. Open here. Stretch there. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I like the result though? Yes. Was the pain worth it? Well...yes.
Since then, I've been back several times for Brazilian waxes. But, last week, while perusing the Aroma website, I noticed a different kind of waxing called "Nufree" waxing. Apparently this kind of waxing is made of all natural ingredients. It only adheres to the actual hair and not the skin. It was a little bit more expensive, but not much. I think it was $50 in total. I had tried sugaring before and I found it to be equally as painful as waxing, with the difference being that sugaring takes longer haha.
Anyhow, I went to do the Nufree. Everything that I read was true. It was less painful and it was just as quick as a Brazilian wax...which Aroma staff can usually complete in approximately 7 minutes. Before beginning, the lady doing the waxing for me asked if I had tried the Nufree before, which I hadn't. She reiterated some of the things I read online, including that it was less painful, it would only adhere to the hair and not my skin, etc. She also mentioned that the Nufree would feel hotter than the regular wax. She was right-the Nufree definitely felt hotter than the regular wax and I was concerned that I might get burnt, but that wasn't the case. I also did not have any bleeding or anything like that. After getting waxed, there was a tube of a cream called finipil, which helped soothe my skin after the wax. It felt warm and tingly when I put it on, as my pores were still open from having just been waxed. It wasn't unpleasant-it was more of a soothing feeling. I had purchased a tube of finipil during a previous visit to Aroma.
So to conclude-would I do it again? Yes-Nufree will be what I will request from now on when I get my next wax. The reduction in pain (note I said reduction, not "elimination") alone is enough for me to pay a few extra bucks to get it done. So next time you're getting some waxing done, try out Nufree if your waxing place has it. Compare it to a regular wax...or if you were a chicken like me and have never experienced a wax yet but are interested in doing so, go for the Nufree first.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
It started a few months ago when I went to see my gynecologist for a regular Pap smear. Like every other woman I know, I very much looked forward to getting my pap done (insert eye rolling "yeah right" face here"). My first pap occurred way too late in life-I was probably 25. And after that less than pleasant experience, I'll admit-I haven't been getting my check ups regularly. However, within the last couple of years, I've learned how to "remain as calm and comfortable as possible" until it's all done and over with. For this reason, getting my check ups are no longer a form of medieval torture for me.
Anyhow, I had gotten my regular pap done, and my gynecologist advised me that my pap came up as "irregular", so I was referred to a specialist. I received my appointment and soon learned that I'd be having a colposcopy, aka we're gonna examine your inner lady parts very closely.
Fast forward to the day of my appointment. I contemplated taking a couple of extra strength tylenols in order to take the edge off. You know, the feeling of a speculum slowly cranking you open. But, I figured...I'm a strong girl! I don't need drugs! So I marched into the exam room once I was called and sat down to chat with the nurse (if I'm being honest...I actually forgot to take the Tylenol and by the time i realized it, it was too late).
The nurse asked me the standard questions and then let me know what to expect. Behind a curtain in the same room was an exam table with stirrups, a long instrument that resembles a snake used to unclog drains, and a tv screen. Phew-at least they'll let me watch tv while they do this.
No. That's not what the tv was for.
The doctor came in-she was very friendly and explained everything that was going to happen. "I'm scared" I told her, half embarrassed. She told me not to worry, and she would be gentle. Mind you, we are having this discussion with my unclothed from the waist down, legs in stirrups self.
"Slide your bum down toward me" said the doctor-so I did.
"More" she said. So I did.
"More" she said. I inched even further.
"More..." she said.
Ok really what the hell! My ass was already very close to the cliff of the exam table, and I wasn't interested in falling off the table, as based on the current position of my body..I'd have fallen off with both my legs and arms in the air and would end up looking like a folded lawn chair.
I inched one more time-finally far enough.
I won't get into the details of me holding my hands together and squeezing them to get over the awkward and somewhat uncomfortable feeling of "the crank open".
"Ok-look to your left at the tv!" said the doctor. Oh finally-I can watch some tv now. "I wonder if they have CP24?" I wondered to myself.
You guessed it-they didn't have CP24. What I saw on the tv was my cervix and freakin' uterus! That snake thing had a camera on the end...I knew I would soon learn the purpose of that thing. Well, this is interesting.
I have to say-the scariest part was when the doctor did a biopsy and took a sample of a small part of my cervix. Everything is magnified times a kabillion, and therefore a small speck looks the size of a melon. First she squirted some sort of vinegar typed fluid which would make any irregularities visible. Then, she took the biopsy and of course the part she snipped at started to bleed. She told me that it was very highly magnified and this was literally a very small bit of blood...but I didn't really hear her as I immediately began to feel faint due to what I perceived to be massive blood loss in my cervical area. I snapped out of it quickly. She used some brown fluid stuff on a piece of gauze and put it on the biopsy spot-she was it was to help stop the bleeding. I was given a pad to wear and was sent on my way. Much to my dismay, days later, I began to excrete what I'm assuming were small pieces of gauze.
The biopsy was only mildly irregular, so I will continue to get checked by this very kind doctor. In fact, my most recent appointment was just this past Thursday...and you won't believe what happened then.