Monday, January 31, 2011

Sad Face

It's kind of sad knowing that today is January 31. Theoretically, it should have been only 9 more days.

Sooo upset over this.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


So I joined twitter tonight. If you have twitter, follow me and comment on this post with your username if you would like me to follow you too.

I figure twitter will be easy to send quick updates to. My twitter username is miz_flow.

Sent from my BlackBerry device

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Feeling Down and out

I took the winter semester off of school mostly in anticipation of a transplant. If I wasn't anticipating a transplant, I would have taken the semester off anyways. I am hoping that my dream HR job will come about at my place of work.

I got a bit of disappointing news the other day. I felt like I was on the right track where transplant is concerned. But I got a phone call from my transplant coordinator advising me that my hemoglobin dropped...again. Last month it was 106. Early January, 89. Now, 81. What the hell is wrong with my hemoglobin? Why does it keep doing this to me? Why can't it just stay up long enough to get this transplant done, and maybe the new kidney will help bring my hemoglobin up?

When is it gonna be my turn? When is it gonna be my turn to be free from the shackles that are dialysis??

I spoke to my brother and my transplant coordinator told him that I'm going to have to see some kidney specialists to see what the deal is. He told me that these appointments/arrangements are going to be mad ASAP. I'm not sure what ASAP means, but what I do know is that I need something positive to happen soon where this transplant is concerned. I'm tired. Tired of dialysis. Tired of setting up machines. Tired of recirculating if I have to go to the washroom in the middle of the night.

I guess I will have to wait and see what next week brings. I pray to God that it will bring good news.

Sent from my BlackBerry device

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Ethics and Back Pain

Geez does my back hurt. Its my lower back, and its throbbing pain. Is it my kidneys? Maybe they're bored and asking for friends. Perhaps sometime in the near future I can introduce a new kidney to them that they've never met before..? :)

Transplant is hopefully only a few weeks away. Since I passed the NKE, my plans are to go to school on a part time basis and look for full time work @ the bank I work for in a HR position. It is important for me to get some HR experience so that I can submit my experience to the HRPA after 5 years. They will review my qualifications, then decide if I am able to obtain the title of CHRP (Certified Human Resources Professional). I was happy and sad at the same time about 2 weeks ago when I went online and saw what was essentially my dream job posting online. It was an HR Coordinator position in the same building that I work in. the job duties are exactly what I'm looking for. The only slight thing that I would change is the fact that it is a contract position, whereas the job I have right now (not an HR job) is a permanent position. My resume is up to date and ready to be submitted...but I cannot. I am waiting for a transplant.

The kidney transplant is obviously more important that any job at this point in time. The kidney transplant will put me in a position where I'll actually be able to wake up each morning to go to work and not worry about disconnecting myself from a dialysis machine. I just wish that there was a way that I could do both. It's not everyday that the perfect job posting in the perfect location comes up. Well, I'm sure a wealth of opportunity will be available to me once I'm transplanted, healthy, and happy.

I put the word "ethics" in this post's title. I did this because I know some people, knowing that they were going to have another commitment (ie. surgery) would still apply for their "dream" position, get the job, then 2 weeks they would be attending to their other commitment. To me, that is unethical. I just cannot wait for this transplant to happen so I can go on doing the things that I want and the things that I love.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

I was hoping...!

Yay, this is my 400th post! ;)

I had a clinic appointment today with my nephrologist. The fellow I saw was Dr. Curran. I dunno...there's just something about him...he's very personable, funny, and smart. One of my favourite fellows to date.

Anyhow, I got another blood pressure med to help my mysteriously rising bp. I stopped all blood pressure meds shortly after starting home hemo, but for some reason my blood pressure has been rising. I'm hoping that my body will go back to "normal" and the blood pressure will go down. I also got Avamys to help with my sinus headaches. It's a nasal spray. Man I hope it works for me like it did last time I used it (back when I had that horrid ear infection) because these headaches essentially render me useless for their duration and nothing seems to really help them.

After that, I got some blood work done and went to get a chest x-ray done as I still seem to have a bit of wheezing going on. We'll see if anyone calls me tomorrow to report on results. As they news is good news.

I went to see my transplant coordinator for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wanted to show Julie my stomach scar from when I had a perforated bowel. The post to the pictures of my stomach scar is HERE. I wanted to ask her if she could point me in the right direction to have the scar fixed a bit as my appointment with the plastic surgeon ended up being a bust (he said he did not want to do the surgery as I was on prednisone/MMF, but when I was off them he'd be happy to do the surgery. Um...I have Lupus and don't plan to be off of those medications any time soon... ) So she's going to look into that.

Also, Thursdays are supposed to be the day that the transplant doctors have a meeting, look at your file, etc. and decide if you are cleared for surgery. The transplant doctor was not in last thursday, so the meeting would take place today. Would you believe that they got too busy and did not have time to discuss me? :(:( but they have PROMISED to make me a priority for next thursday's hopefully I'll have a DEFINITIVE answer by then. After my file is reviewed and assuming everything is okay, the next step is...a DEFINITE surgery date! :)

Again, well keep my blog posted where that is concerned.

Monday, January 10, 2011

school has started...and i ain't goin!

it feels weird not getting up and going to school since school started today. In actuality, I'll be going online, most likely on Friday, to drop all but two of my courses. Transplant is eminent in the coming weeks, and taking a full course load would definitely be silly. I'm just going to take a couple of online courses and go from there.

I will keep my blog posted for transplant stuff...!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Where have I been?!?

I've been away for a while. I've been super busy with school and with this stupid flu (mostly the flu). It was one of those situations where you kinda get the flu...then it gets a bit better by itself...then it comes back in full force..!

I've been on a 10 day bout of antibiotics (Avelox 400mg for 10 days). When my family doctor listened to my chest and my back, he said he could hear the weezing in my lungs. I could feel it when I breath. I will be done the antibiotics in the next few days.

The problem that has been bothering me the most are these crippling headaches. Based on where the pain is, it definitely has to be a sinus headache. It's painful to a point where I cannot sleep, I cannot lie still, I cannot stand up... I cannot do anything. Icepacks help mildly, but not really. Having my mother massage "Robb" on my head helps a bit.

I went to see the hematologist today (for transplant clearance reasons). I had to do bloodwork first, then wait about an hour or so for that bloodwork to come back so the doctor could look at it. So I decided to go to home hemo and see if I could be seen by a doctor in relation to my sinus headaches. My blood pressure has also been acting wacky. It's been no lower than 145/98. I believe my doctor is relating the headaches to the blood pressure...but based on my ear infection fiasco in Jan/Feb/Mar of 2010...I'm thinking its another sinus headache thing. At that time, I went to see an ENT who gave me some nasal spray. This time, I just went to Walmart and bought some over the counter nasal spray. I hope it helps as I've been using it for about 2 days and am still getting headaches. I've been off of work for about a month.

My dialysis machine is screwed up. I keep getting "no water" alarms as I'm trying to do my opening rinse. Something that should take about 7-8 minutes looks like it's going to take about 45. Time to call tech..

In good news, that HR exam I wrote back in October... I passed! I am officially a CHRP Candidate. I'm quite happy about that. All I gotta do now is hopefully get my kidney transplant, then start looking for HR job postings within my company and hopefully in the same building too. I just remember how stressed I was when I walked out of that exam...thinking about all the hours I wasted studying for it. Thinking...who do I think I am taking the exam without even finishing school or without practical work experience. But when I saw that I got an A on the exam...I couldn't be happier.

My Christmas and New Years were both quiet. On Christmas day I was so sick with such a bad headache that I spent most of the time in bed, in tears, just praying that I could simply fall asleep so that the pain would go away. I had short little naps-3o to 45 minutes tops. All of the Merry Christmas text messages and BBMs were sure to keep me awake.

For New Years, my Mom and Dad were going to go to church. My sister went out with her friends, and I was going to stay home. When my Dad realized that I'd be home alone, he decided to stay home with me. I appreciated that...staying home alone in such circumstances is just not fun.

Anyone, I'm sure my machine has been rinsing for about an hour and I still haven't gotten the "system ready" beep. This annoys me. I may need to turn the thing off and on again.

Well, that was my quick update. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year! I will keep up to date with transplant stuff as (I hope) this hematology appointment will be the last doctor I will need to "approve" my transplant.
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