Sunday, August 16, 2009

Oh how I've changed...

Nobody could say anything to me when I was in grade 8 and younger. I was tough as nails. An admitted Daddy's girl, yes, but still tough as nails.

I had my fair share of those petty school yard disputes that we have as youngsters that often have us running home to our mothers. Not me though. I was tough as nails. I remember getting into a fight with a boy. I was in grade 3 or 4. I can't remember the exact situation, but I do remember he and I getting into a physical fight. I grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the ground. He got up, charged at me, and punched me in the face. I didn't cry. I didn't flinch. Before the fight could progress, teachers had already intervened. I was lucky to have dodged suspension. But, the point is, I was tough as nails.

My toughness faded away in November of 1996. I was forced to adopt a whole new type of toughness. I was never the same.

I went through so many things and I experienced so many things at that time. I cried often. I probably cried more during that time than I had in my entire life.

It was soon after that I realized how upset I'd get at things, or how easy it was for me to cry. I usually wouldn't cry at something I saw on TV or in a movie. The first movie I remember crying at was The Lion King. Boy did I ever cry like a baby.

Today was a rough day for me at work. I was faced with a lot of difficult situations. 3 hours into my shift I was literally, LITERALLY on the brink of tears. At that point, I was like a canon, ready to explode if jolted in any way, shape, or form. I got up from my desk walked around for a bit. I spoke to one of my co-workers and team members named Leela. She cheered me up soo much. In fact, she cheered me up more than she probably realizes.

I was glad when I looked at the clock on my computer and realized that it was now the end of the day for me. I was so visibly shaken by my day that my mother realized it as soon as she saw me. My father realized it too...because he immediately drove us to the 7-eleven for slurpees. Slurpees cheer me up also.

There was a point in time where anyone could say pretty much anything to me and I would not flinch. Being emotional is good...it shows that you are human. But in a way, I wish I could find a happy medium between the two extremes. There isn't a job out there where there are absolutely no bad days.

Or, if there is, let me know...

0 thought(s):

 
Blog Design by April Showers Design Studio