Friday, July 31, 2009

How am I goinna do this?

I woke up this morning with a terrible stomach ache. It's currently 8:30am and I woke up just before 8 because of this stomach ache. I'm supposed to meet my group members today (in an hour and a half) to work on this assignment...but I'm in a fair amount of pain.

Most other groups in my class for this assignment consist of 5 or more people, whereas my group only has 3 people. That said, it is essential that we all pull our own weight in order to make this project successful. This is especially important as my prof for this class seems to be a real stickler for grammar and such.

I don't know what to do. Well, I should start by taking some Pepto bizz first of all, then perhaps slowly brush my teeth, wash up, etc. Then make some tea and toast and much away and see what happens. To be honest I really don't feel like eating anything, but if I don't eat anything and I take my medication...what I thought was a stomach ache will be tripled in the discomfort department.

The library we're going to is pretty central for my other group members, but it's a bit further away for me...about 40 minutes away give or take. That's another problem. It's kinda far...and being close to home when you're not feeling well is ideal.

Well, let me just suck it up and try and get ready. Sometimes with these stomach aches I tend to feel a bit better as the day goes on...

*crosses fingers*

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Hemoglobin Nose Dive

Yup, my hemoglobin took a nose dive. It went from 124 (or 12.4) to 102 (or 10.2). It most certainly explains my extreme fatigue, especially for the past few weeks. Yesterday, while on the way to school, I saw a couple of my classmates on the subway and on the streetcar. We all discussed how tired we were and how we all didn't know if we were going to make it to this 8:30am class. Ha, if they only knew. I'm not trying to downplay how tired they may have been, but I literally felt like I could collapse.

A possible explanation for that would have to be my lack of aranesp usage for the past number of weeks. Yup, I forgot to fill that prescription. Why, you ask? Ironically, I was too tired to go to the hospital and pick it up.

I am hoping that it is just my hemoglobin that is causing this problem and not something more serious. As you can tell by my past few posts...I am absolutely terrified of having a Lupus flare. I've been doing so well...body don't fail me now!

Unrelated funny story: on Monday, after class, myself and my friend Alexis were walking to the subway. I don't remember how we got into the conversation, but Alexis had mentioned how she admired the fact that I had such a positive attitude. We continued walking until we reached a red light. At that point, I said something like "well, there's no use in me sitting around and crying/complaining about it. All I can do is look forward and have a positive attitude and just do what I gotta do!" Then, a lady beside us said "That's definitely a positive attitude to have!" I kinda blushed because I wasn't saying it because I wanted everyone to hear/for attention, but it was so nice that this stranger acknowledge what I was saying, even though she had no idea what I was specifically talking about. :) I wonder if she knows that her comment kinda made my day?

I just finished my math individual assignment so I'm glad to have that out of the way. Now there's still the HR group assignment for which myself and my group members will meet up on Friday to complete.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr. Fortin. I'm sure I will have to see that nurse there who scolded me for eating a donut. "It's not good for your health!" she says. Ah please! My cholesterol is impecable, I have Lupus, I've had a growth on my brain which pretty much paralyzed me for a short amount of time, AND I had a hole in my intestine causing me to need to wear a freakin' bag on my stomach for 6 months! Umm...I THINK I'm entitled to a lousy donut every now and then!!

It was the first time I had ever seen/met/spoken to her, and I just didn't appreciate her jumping all over me, especially when she knew nothing about me. It just put an automatic bad taste in my mouth. This time, I'm going to print off my blood work (which show sthat my bloodwork is amazing) and bring it along with me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Almost there...

The very last day of school is August 14th. Then...3 glorious, well deserved and well needed weeks of rest.

I have to force myself out of bed these past few days. I'm hoping my hemoglobin hasn't dropped or something. I'm so close to finishing this semester and I seriously don't want anything to muck it up. I'm hoping that I can just keep it together...and maybe I can squeeze out another Dean's list showing. My profs have been super nice in that they are all allowing me to write my finals on days other than the assigned days. If I had to write them on the assigned day, there would be a day whereby I'd have to write 3 finals in one day. Lupus or not, that is absolute craziness for anyone. My brain and body needs time to relax and recover.

I have selected my courses for the fall semester. I'm still pretty bummed about how much books are going to cost. When I add everything together, the cost of my books for next semester is just over $560 for 5 books. Sooo much money! Many of these books are HR specific books, and therefore I not only need to buy them, but I need to keep them so that when I'm studying for the NKE (national knowledge exam) for HR, I'll have something to refer back to. I might have to buy my book in shifts until I can afford to get them all.

Oh, my pager isn't working. My kidney pager that I just received like 3 months ago. What's up with that? I'll need to call them.

Well, it's 8:35pm and my eyes are already falling. It was my intention to work on the HR group assignment which I believe is due next week. I just cannot work on that right now. I'm going to get changed, wash my face, drink some water, down some medication, and hit the hay.

Friday, July 24, 2009

On its last boot?

I'm casually shopping for computers. I'm afraid that my computer is on its last boot. I get inundated with error message when I turn it on, and with even more when it's time to turn it off. I'm not sure what the lifespan of a computer is supposed to be, but mine is about 3 years old. It also doesn't have enough memory to hold all of my files, include my music, my programs that I need for school, etc. I find myself looking for things to delete just to squeak in enough space to get that program on my computer.

As per some professional advice, the field has been narrowed down to lenovo and HP. Lenovos are built like a rock, but HPs are also great and so very pretty. Hehe. I've emailed some specs for two diferent computers that I'm currently look at to the person giving me professional advice. I'll await his response before making my ultimate decision...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Presentation in the Morning!

Tomorrow, my project management group will be doing our presentation on our concert which is meant to raise funds for Lupus.

I hope I don't fumble over my words or anything like that. Naturally, Lupus is a topic that I'm very comfortable with in terms of speaking about it, so that shouldn't be a problem. I've decided not to script myself too much. I wanted to make the presentation as natural as possible. I want it to be sincere and from the heart.

I've wondered whether or not I'd reveal to the class that I have Lupus. The way I'd position that is the fact that I'd talk about how you Lupus in such an "invisible disease" and it is virtually impossible to look at someone and determine that they have lupus. Then I'd say something like "we have all been in this class for the entire summer semester and I bet none of you knew that I had Lupus..."

I'm kind of shying away from that. I'm not scared to tell people I have lupus per se, but I'm afraid of how people might react, in spite of the fact that I'm trying to educate people as much as possible about the cause without eclipsing the whole purpose of the presentation, which is the concert we're throwing...not necessarily the reason we're throwing the concert.

Oh well. It is getting late and I have to be good and ready to present tomorrow so I had better get changed, get some shut eye, and pray that I remember to say everything that I want to say!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Scared about Flares

I've been home from work for the past week. I've been suffering from a general feeling of unwellness-dull stomach, achy all over, etc.

I haven't had any real flares for a number of years and seriously hope to keep it that way. But sometimes when I get unwell, that underlying thought is always in the back of my head. School is going pretty well, but this feeling of unwellness came at an awful time. We're headinng down the final stretch. Mid terms have been written and it's group assignment time. I've managed to get all of my work done and not disappoint my group which is great.

The major assignment that we're working on now is for my project management class. We have to pretend that we are a project team and we're organizing an event. I managed to convince my group of 6 that we should organize a charity concert to raise money for Lupus. They all agreed :) We are presenting this Monday. I will (obviously) be the subject matter expert.

Regardless of how I feel, I will go to school on Monday to present. I'm not letting my team down and I'm not letting this lame feeling of unwellness stop me either.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I feel yucky

Today was a yucky day. I felt majorly nauseated all day. Luckily I had a pretty good day at work. Sundays at work are always great. There's a comfortable vibe on Sundays...very laid back.

I felt pretty emotional today. My stomach hurt, school is busy...there's just too many things to worry about. I now know better than to take 5 courses at one time. From here on end I'm not taking any more than 4 classes at one time...I don't care if it takes me longer to finish school! Anyhow, in terms of being emotional, I just knew that if someone, anyone, said the wrong thing to me...I'd break down into tears. Luckily that situation never came up...and that's always a good thing.

I was relieved when 3pm came along and I knew it was home time. I asked my mom to take me to the grocery store so I could buy some tummy friendly foods. I also thought i'd be a good idea to buy some snack foods that I can take to school, especially on that murderous day known as tuesday: (8:30am to 11am: HR class. 11am-12pm: spare/lunch. 12pm-3pm: math class. 3pm-6pm: accounting. 6pm onwards: collapse!) I usually find myself purchasing the unhealthy snacks between Math class and Accounting class, so a stash of baby carrots will certainly be a better choice. Being on prednisone makes you prone to that dreaded sticky outie tummy, and I need to be aware of that.

Anyhow, while we were there, my mother quietly called me over to where the broccoli was in the produce section. I wondered why she was whispering. When I got closer, she showed me a whole lotta broccoli florets that had been ripped from their stem and tossed back into the bunches of broccoli. What happened to the stem? My mother non-chalontly motioned in the direction of a middle aged lady. My mom told me that she saw the woman standing by the broccoli. When my mom approached, she witnessed the woman ripping the tops off off the broccoli and throwing them back...and she kept the stem! Who DOES that?? The broccoli was priced per bunch, not by weight! Did she want to make broccoli soup? You need the florets in broccoli soup to make it look pretty!! Was she going to con the cashier and make them give her the stem for free because there were no florets attached to it? Weird! I guess I'll never know why that perfectly normal looking woman ripped the florets off the top of that broccoli stem..

I haven't gotten as much work done this weekend as I would have liked. I just haven't felt the best. I think I'm making myself ill with stress. I need to chill some yoga, meditate, get a massage...ANYTHING! I don't know...I'm just afraid of defeat I guess. In computer class, out of all the tests/assignments that we've done, I'm currently getting 38/38. Can't complain about that. In math, the last test that we did, a test that I was convinced I had failed miserably...I got 85%. On the accounting mid term test, I got 93% or 28/30...or the best mark in the class!! :):). In project managment, I got 87% on the midterm. I don't have my HR mid term mark as my teacher forgot to pick my test up from the test centre and is yet to mark it 3 weeks later. On the quiz we did in HR, I got a miserable 53%. This test was only with 2.5% of our final mark so I really need to get over it...but I don't like getting low marks...period. That 2.5% is well on its way to giving me an ulcer.

Anyhow, I'm going to lie down on my bed, close my eyes, and listen to the soothing sounds of men beating the tobacco out of each other a la UFC.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Gimme my freakin' blood tubes!!

Yesterday I took myself on a bit of a journey. The first stop was the local 7-eleven. I bought myself a bus pass in anticipation of my multiple stops. The bus pass cost 9 dollars. My trip consisted of 4 different bus trips. Each trip would normally cost a bus pass in this case was definitely the way to go.

Next stop: blood lab. I had to get a blood test done for transplant work up. It has to be done quarterly so that when/if a kidney comes up, there will be recent blood on file for them to reference.

Because I bring my own bloods in regularly, the lab provides me with a card that have my blood work requisitions on it as opposed to me bringing in actual paper blood work requisitions (which I would most certainly lose). These cards expire every 6 months, at which point my unit at the hospital has to fax new requisitions to the lab.

This month happened to be the month where my unit had faxed in new requisitions. I wasn't dropping off blood work yesterday, but I thought I'd ask if I could pick up my cards today.

The eldest of the 3 techs said:
"You're not giving BLOOD for that today so you DON'T GET THE CARDS." problem.

I was called in to do my blood work. After I was done, I asked the tech taking my blood (not the lady who answered me previously) if I could have some replacement blood tubes as I forgot to get more when I dropped blood off a few weeks before. The young tech wasn't sure of the procedure so she asked the eldest.
"NO. She's supposed to get blood tubes from the hospital".

Umm, what? I've ALWAYS gotten my blood tubes here. I told her that I've been getting my blood tubes there for a year and a half.

"A YEAR AND A HALF?" she said, with obvious doubt in her voice.

I replied and told her that it wasn't quite a year and a half, but I have been getting my blood tubes there since April of 2008. Rolling her eyes, and obviously still not believing me, she walked away, saying nothing. "Um, so should I give her the blood tubes?" asked the tech. "YEAH, GIVE HER THE TUBES" said the eldest blood tech, almost in a "we'll give it to you THIS time around" tone in her voice.

Oh whatever! I so wasn't in the mood for that crap that day. I've ALWAYS gotten my blood tubes there. In fact, I've sent my father over there once to get blood tubes for me because I had forgotten to get them myself. I hate when people give you a hard time just for the sake of giving you a hard time! Luckily she gave me the tubes with relatively little arguement...because I assure you I'd have made plenty of noise in that lab until somebody...ANYBODY gave me some damn blood tubes.

I usually go to the lab in the morning and not in the late afternoon, so perhaps I won't have to run into that lady again who was being so difficult. I know I've seen her before and I can't remember what my interaction with her was. It couldn't have been that bad or else I'd have remembered it. It also couldn't have been that good...or else I'd have remembered it.

Let's hope I don't have any more problems with her.

So after that unfortunate encounter, I headed off to walmart to purchase a new clipboard for my dialysis log sheets as well as some stomach discomfort stuff (gravol, immodium, etc).

After that, I headed to the mall for some retail therapy. I bought some clothes to wear when I work out as well as a couple of things that I can wear to work. Very happy with my purchases.

After that, I stopped at a local hair store to pick up a scarf to wrap around my hair when I sleep.

Then I went home.

...then I got a call from my friend asking me if I wanted to go out for vietnamese food. Why yes, yes I DO want to go out for food! So we went and had some great food. I had a spring roll, miso soup, grilled beef, and rice. And vegetables. Delicious!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy Canada Day!! (aka Mommy/Daughter Day X 2)

Happy Canada Day, my fellow Canadians!

My Mother and I headed out for what may very well be an annual tradition: navigating the streets via public transit in search of wonderful Canada Day festivities.

There was much talk that many things would be cancelled due to the fact that the garbage strike is still on, however the place that Mom and I usually go to by the water was still happening, so we headed down there. There was lots of food, snacks, and vendors. I bought 2 churros - delicious spanish donuts. Yummm!

We spent the rest of the day walking around, shopping, and enjoying the lovely weather. I'm loving Mommy/Daughter days.

Reading Week

June 22-June 26 was reading week.

Beautiful weather was enjoyed for that whole time. I had purchased tickets for myself and 3 of my classmates to go to an amusement park (Canada's wonderland.)

Wouldn't you know: it RAINED the entire day? Every other day that week was sweltering hot. But on the day we decide to go out for fun?? It rained. We went into the local store and spent 6 bucks on blue rain ponchos.

In spite of being soaked, we enjoyed the day. The rain let up later on in the day so we enjoyed it. The lineups for rides were on the most part quite short as many people probably opted to stay home or leave the park early because of the weather. It was not cold out, but it was wet. We went on almost all of the rollercoasters that we weren't too 'fraidy cat to go on. Good times. I love summer.

Maybe next year I'll actually "have" a summer and not spend all of it at school...!
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