Monday, March 30, 2009

Clinic Appointment

I have a love/hate relationship with clinic appointments.

First of all, I guess it goes without saying that I'm sure all of us who have to go to clinic appointments for whatever reason would prefer to not go to them at all. Let's just get that statement out of the way.

Now, sometimes I like going to clinic appointments. It's an opportunity to bring forth any concerns or questions that I may have about changes I'm feeling in my body, things I've researched and have questions about, etc. It is also a time that my medication may be adjusted (hopefully going lower...*cough* prednisone *cough*). Those are the good things about clinic appointments.

Bad things? Well, when I go to a clinic appointment, I don't like talking to other people besides my actual doctor. I don't like being harassed by several different people about participating in some study. I think I've participated in just under a kabillion studies. The amount of blood that I alone have given over the years should most definitely be sufficient enough to have foound a cure for Lupus.

I can't say that I'm a fan of the "fellow". I'm all about learning and stuff like this. In fact, in previous days, I'd be willing to let fellows perform procedures on me even if it meant some blood had to be shed. **Tangent alert** I remember when I was at sick kid's hospital, a fellow came along and stuck one of those magnifying ear viewer things in my ear so she could see what was going on in there. Boy did she ever shove it in there. She put it in so hard that when she left, I asked my dad for some tissue so I could put it in my ear. She actually drew blood. She cut my ear! In the same hospital admission, I remember a team of like 10 doctors coming into my room. One was the "boss" while the others were still learning. The "boss" thought it would be ok for him to allow ALL of these doctors to examine me just because I was a little older than the other people in sick kids hospital. I was too shy to say no. They all, one after another, examined me. "Now let's check for the pulse near her groin." "OK!" yelled the murder of doctors. How humiliating. And THEN there was the time when I had aseptic arthritis in my knee and required surgery. I had to wait a few days for the surgery so in the meantime, I had to have my knee tapped with a big scary needle almost twice daily. While it hurt immensely, the "boss" doctor seemed to do it with ease. This one fellow in particular kept on trying to do it but it just wouldn't work. He'd sometimes come into my room by himself to try and do it and it never worked. All he did was cause me immense pain. **end tangent**

So, as you can see, I don't like being seen by "other people". This recent clinic appointment, I learned that I'd have to see a nurse before seeing my doctor. Oh brother...not another person! When I got to the hospital 20 minutes before my appointment tine, I decided to stop at Tim Hortons to get a black tea and a donut. After that, I took my medication as I knew I'd be eating my donut soon. I then headed to my appointment.

After checking in, I sat down and got ready to eat my donut. As soon as my butt hit the chair, a lady came around and asked me to come with her. What's this now?? I just want to eat my donut I'm starving!

As we headed to a room, she said "You didn't eat any of that donut, did you?" I said I hadn't. She said good, as we needed to do a cholesterol blood test today. I knew in my mind that I would NOT be doing a cholesterol blood test today for 2 reasons: A--I did one in January of this year as she said that the last one she had was from January last year. B-- I just took my medication and had no interest in suffering from a stomach ache all day just so I could wait 30 minutes for a blood test.

I told her I did the blood test already. She couldn't find it in the computer. I explained my reasons, as listed above, that I wouldn't be doing a blood test today. She reluctantly agreed.

After taking my blood pressure, she went into discussing my diet. "So what's that you're eating there?" she asked. I bit my lip as I contemplated saying "a salad". It was clear that I was eating a chocolate donut. In not so many words, she scolded me on my food choice. She then showed me some sheet she made showing my HDL, LDL, and probability of getting heart disease. My HDL and LDL were both in a better range than most people. My probability of getting heart disease in the next 10 years was, get this: 0%. So why was she scolding me? I'm 166cm (almost 5'5 and a half) and I weigh 120 pounds. Not at all obese or even overweight. So how dare she?? She told me that fast food was bad. I'm not sure where she got the idea that I eat fast food because I never mentioned it. At any rate, I continued to savor and enjoy my donut, but this conversation was really annoying me. She asked me what I eat on a regular basis. I told her that I eat rice, veggies, chicken, pasta, etc. She asked me about fruit and I told her that I ate vegetables more often than I eat fruit. "WELL YOU HAVE TO MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT TO EAT MORE FRUIT".

Annoyed. Annoyed and hurt. I wouldn't so much mind hearing such information from someone even though it was information I already knew, but as is often said, it's all about how you say things! I decided that I'd just ignore the comments as they were beginning to piss me off. I was happy when it was over. Oh, and the most annoying part of it all? She asked me which medications I was on. "I don't know". I answered. "You don't know??" she asked. "It's in the chart. Nothing has changed". I said. Annoyed.

After that, I went back to the waiting room to sit down when a FELLOW came to talk to me?? ARGH!!

Turns out that this fellow was great. She didn't ask me anything that was already written right in front of her. I saw my actual doctor for about 3.5 minutes. He dropped my prednisone by 1 mg. That was all.

Apparently this is the new routine that I'll have to go through all the time. I just hate repeating myself, I hate being hurt (whether phyiscally or other ways), and I hate being spoken to like I'm an idiot. Bah! Time to leave for school.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Something Fun I saw on somebody else's Facebook Page

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question

1. What is your name: Florence
2. A four letter word: Flow
3. A girl's name: Francesca
4. A Boys name: Francisco
5. An occupation: Florist
6. Something you wear: Fake nails (LOL)
7. A food: Filet Mignon
8. Something found in the bathroom: face cream
9. A place: France
10. A reason for being late: Forgot my wallet
11. Something you shout: "F***!"(I really don't shout that...really, I don't..)
12. A movie title: Finding Nemo
13. Something you drink: Fruit punch
14. A musical group or singer: Franz Ferdinand
15. An animal: Flamingo
16. A street name: Finch Ave
17. A type of car: Ferarri
18. The title of a song: Free Your Mind - En Vogue
19. A school subject: Francais
20. A Celebrity: Frank Sinatra

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Today was a great day. I spent the day out with my mom. It was pretty nice as I usually spend my Saturdays at work, and today I had they day off! We went to a little shop so I could get my eyebrows threaded. After that, Mom decided that she wanted to go to the Eddie Bauer wearhouse so we did that *snore*. After that, we stopped at the Real Canadian Superstore. I bought a shirt there. (The real Canadian Superstore is a grocery store/furniture store/clothing store). After that we went to Yorkdale mall where I bought some clothes to wear to work. A great day was had by all.

But it started this morning. I work up with about 2 hours left on my dialysis machine. I started to feel a little strange so I gave myself a little saline.

When I woke up again, there were 18 minutes left until I was done. When I looked at my saline bag, it was completely empty. Oh no! I fell asleep before I could re-clamp my saline bag! So I just essentially gave myself a full litre of saline. Thank Goodness I'm a home hemo girl so I can re-dialyze tonight! :s

Today was a nice day out. It was sunny and warm. I can't wait until spring time. Well, earth hour will be in just over an hour, so I had better go and get my candles ready! :)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Group Presentation, Work, then Weekend Off!

On Monday, through my feelings of absolute exhaustion and tummy pain, I managed to get through the group presentation with my 4 group members. Our presentation was based on the selection process for (the) GAP inc. We took on the role of recruiters from the GAP. We explained the company's history, the position(s) we were hiring for (which happened to be seasonal sales staff), described what we were looking for, etc. I think the presentation went quite well as in my HR class, I had a group full of absolute stars. Life would be wayyy too easy if all group assignments went that smoothly.

The next day was Biz Concepts class (yes, the class where that crazy debacle occured last week). When everyone was settled, the professor immediately addressed what happened last week. He apologized to the students who were listening. He also apologized that there were, in fact, hooligans in the class who disrupted things. He said that most of these hooligans would have much time to think about their behaviour in the next semester when they take this course again. :)

Other than that, I'm glad that class went smoothly and I'm glad that my professor was there to teach it. He's a super nice guy and easy to talk to.

As for today, I'm just typing up a quick entry before I head off to work. I usually work on Satudays but one of my co-workers asked me if I'd switch shifts with her. She will work my Saturday shift if I work for her tomorrow. I agreed. She's a great friend! Aside from that, I'm beginning to forget what a Saturday morning looks like outside of my place of work! I wrote a math test yesterday. I think I did pretty well...(I hope!) I know that on one of the questions out of 4 marks I probably got 3. I put 20/365 instead of 31/365 when I was calculating something having to do with interest. I knew I should have put 31!! Ah well. I'm sure I still aced it....!

I feel kinda tired. I can't wait to have 2 weeks off when this semester is done. I bought 3 tickets for the up and coming good food festival for myself, my mom, and my sis. If you click on 'good food festival' on my label cloud, I believe I put pictures up from a previous outing! It was great fun...mostly the chilling with my mom and sis part...and the non-stop gourging as a bonus!

Time to go to work. I hope I make it thru the day!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A few short weeks until the end of the semester!

I can't wait to have a much deserved 2 weeks off (of school) after this semester is over and done with. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving school and I'm loving the fact that I'm physically able to even BE in school. I was just foolish and naive to think that college would be different than high school I thought the level of maturity and committment in college would be greater.

I found myself at work yesterday, sitting at my desk, half there and half gone. My stomach hurt. I knew it wasn't something I ate. My mom had made lasagne two days earlier. She portioned and froze them, and that is what I had for lunch. I knew it wasn't food. I've been pretty good about not letting stress bother me...but this time, I wasn't just stressed out...I was angry.

The reason almost every hard worker out there hates group work/group assignments is because they fear the thought of having to pick up someone else's slack. Conversely, the reason those slackers out there don't mind group work is because they often get away with doing nothing (or very little).

This time, just like last time, I'm in a group of 5. I made it very clear this time around that I wanted everyone's work to be received by Thursday, 4pm. I was pleasantly surprised when most people sent me their stuff by Wednesday. That feeling of pleasant surprised was quickly replaced by frustration when I noticed that the questions were answered all wrong.

Myself and one of my group members were rather frustrated when we logged into google docs and saw the answers (and yes, for all of you out there who have to do group work, I highly recommend google docs). We sent the information back to those group members, asking them to do the question over again.

Even though I had sent the questions back to them to do over, I knew that this wasn't going to be pretty. I knew that I'd end up stuck doing a lot of work that I wasn't supposed to do. My goal and aim for a good mark force me to.

Both members sent the answers back to me after revising them. Still incorrect. Sources weren't even cited either. Who did they think was going to do it?

I got really annoyed with one group member when they informed me that they'd send me their answer on Saturday night. They must think that I have all day to read, edit, etc their work for an assignment due on Tuesday? Uh, HELLO, just like them, I have OTHER CLASSES TOO! I informed the group member that the correct answer must be in my email box by 8pm Friday night. I also said that if it wasn't done and in my email box by NOT send it at all. Don't want it. I even referenced page numbers in the textbook that this group member could focus on in order to get the proper answer.

I went out with my friends Friday evening, knowing full well that I was on the brink and just needed a break. When I got home around 10pm, I checked my email. Nothing. I waited until about 11:30pm. Nothing. I emailed the group member and informed them that it was now 11:30pm and I still did not have the completed question (a question that that group member had chosen themselves...I chose LAST so everyone else could have/do what they wanted). I told them to NOT bother sending me anything as I didn't want it. I informed them that I had completed the question myself.

About an hour after that, just as I was past the winding down stage, I received an email apologizing for not having sent it on time. Shortly thereafter, I received another email with the group member's answer.

Would you be shocked if I told you that the answer was STILL wrong, this time it was just long winded and WRONG.

I simply emailed back and said "The question is already done". I shut my laptop off, tossed and turned in bed until about 2am, fell asleep, then woke up at 6:40am to get ready for work.

At first work was ok, but at the day wound down, I began to feel worse and worse. It got to the point where I had to phone my sister and ask her to come and pick me up.

When I got home, I checked my email. This group member had emailed me: "Since you took it upon yourself to do question 4, am I still a member of this group?"


Well, I didn't kick anyone out of the group, but I DO know exactly what I'll write on the individual group assignment evaluation when it comes time to do that.

So myself and one other group member managed to get this stupid thing done. I really credit my one group member for sticking by and really helping out when she knew I wasn't feeling well. If I were in a group with those other two members only...I'd have been screwed in the marks department.

I'm not sure that this paper will be a 98% paper like the last one, but if it isn't, I'll be right pissed if any of the delinquent members complain about it.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Business Debacle

Today was a crazy day in class.

We got our tests back today. I was stressing out over this test as there were many questions that I didn't know the answer to. That being said, I still managed to pull off a 89%!! Woo hoo!

It was all smiles and hugs and happiness amonst myself and my friends as we were all very pleased with our marks...but not everyone was.

One gentleman was quite...disgruntled at his mark. As the prof tried to go through the test, he continuously spoke at the teacher, expressing his discontent at the fact that he didn't get at least SOME marks for one of the long answer questions out of 10. The prof expressed to him that he likely got zero because the answer simply wasn't what he was looking for. The student then angrily took his test and his laptop and shoved it into his backpack. He got up in a huff and headed for the door. If that wasn't bad enough, when he got behind the prof on the way to the door, he gave the prof "the finger". How very mature. If he's so cool, why'd he have to do that behind the prof's bacl? This action reminded me of how immature some of these people are.

As if that wasn't bad enough, more trouble was a-brewin'. At the very beginning of the semester, the prof stated that bringing laptops to class for the purpose of taking notes and such was fine, however if you brought a laptop to class for the purpose of fooling around, playing on facebook, etc, he'd confiscate the laptop until the end of that class. Well, today would be the first day that he'd confiscate a laptop.

As he unplugged the student's laptop and headed back to the front of the class, the angry yells from students sitting near the offender began. It was all quite strange to me as the person who's laptop was actually confiscated had very little to say. Perhaps it's because he knew he was guilty.

"That's his property! You can't do that! He's just a kid!" yelled some random person sitting behind the offender. Another hooligan, no doubt. The yells and jeers grew louder from the friends of the offender...the offender who still had nothing much to say. When the prof got back to the front of the class, the unthinkable happened: the prof placed the student's computer into the recycling bin. He didn't THROW it, he very gently placed it in there. "Yikes", I though, "this is not gonna be good."

Then began the uproar. Loud mouth who was defending the silent offender then came to the fron of the class as if he was going to retrieve the laptop from the recycling bin. the prof placed himself between Loud Mouth and the recycling bin. The arguing continued as the rest of the class began to pack their things up and leave. Eventually loud mouth, now with slient bob behind him, headed back to their seats to retrieve their jackets and such as the others still yelled on.

When we looked to the front of the class, the prof began to gather his things as if he was going to leave the class. How did all of this nonsense lead to this?? Another student in the class got up and went to the front of the class and reason with the professor. After some reasoning, the professor decided to stay. The prof went to the recycling bin and retrieved the laptop and placed it by his things. While this was happening, the hooligans (all of them) left.

Eventually things calmed down. While the prof was teaching again, the hooligan snuck in the class behind the teacher and "stole" his laptop back. The professor saw him but didn't see him in time to stop him. I was glad that he got his laptop he could just leave and not bother the class anymore! I limped to class with a sore avascular necrosis'd right knee for THIS??

I felt awful for the prof. While I don't agree with him placing the laptop in the recycling bin, I also don't agree with the blatent disprespect of many of the students in the class. I have like 3.5 weeks left until the end of this semester...I'm hoping that as the semester progresses, the maturity of some of these students will progress as well.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Feeling Down and Out

I'm feeling kind of down and out today. Not in a happy mood at all.

I had kind of a weird day today. Nothing specific happened. I went to church, came home, did some homework, and that was it.

I just felt kindy iffy today anyways, but that feeling of iffyness what multiplied by the fact that I really wanted chinese food for dinner today and nobody was able to take me to get some. That's a sign that I need to get my driver's licence as I could have easily driven myself there if I had it.

9 times out of 10, I'm a completely happy person. But I suppose just like anyone and everyone else, I have by bad days...days that are bad for no good reason.

I'm sitting here on my bed staring at this dialysis machine...wondering why. Why do people have to live like this? Why do I have to live like this until I get a kidney? I look at my bandaged fistula and wonder why. I look at the huge scar on my stomach and wonder why. I look in the mirror at the lupus butterfly rash on my face and wonder why. When I look at the swelling in my knee or the limp in my step...I simply wonder why.

I like being in school because I know that I'll bring my closer to my goal of actually finishing school. I'm working hard as I currently have the mentality of working hard now so that I don't have to repeat things later. I like school...but oh man do I hate school lol. I wish I was done now so that I could be hating work instead of school. Heh.

Well, I've babbled on long enough. Time to rest a bit before work in the morning.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Remind me again why they don't have dialysis machines that set themselves up?

Today felt like a long day even though it wasn't.

After my dialysis run, I cleaned up and studied for my online computers test. I did the test prior to my math test this afternoon. It was on excel. It's difficult going through the excel on my computer to try and figure things out as the test is based on Excel 2003 while I have Excel 2007. I used the online study/practice tools. I felt totally unprepared but I knew I had to write the test today or else I'd have to trek all the way to school just to do the 20 minute test. Luckily I managed to pull off a 26/30. Hurray!

Anyhow, before all of that, I received a phone call from the tech informing me that he'd come to my house tomorrow morning. I hope this no water alarm business gets rectified.

Also, in terms of my up and coming group assignment for my business concepts class, I discovered something pretty great for group work: google docs. It allows you to post things in a password protected place. You can invite others to view the document and also add/edit the docuument as well. It's pretty cool because the people that I invite to view our document in google docs don't need to sign up for a gmail email address...they can create a password with their own email address and just sign in. I also like it because all of our information ends up being in one centralized place as opposed to everyone emailing everyone else random just gets confusing.

This time around, our professor suggested that we fill out evaluations for all of our group members to outline how much work they did. Considering the fact that I'm with the same group as LAST time (yup, the one where a lot of the work ended up on my shoulders) it'll be nice to evaluate others. There is no excuse this time and I simply am not going to stick up for anyone this time.

Anyhow, as per the title of this post, automatic set-itself-up dialysis machine have not yet been invented, so I had better get on it.

Another Business Concepts Test

...but I don't think I'm pulling off any 86% marks on this one.

I completely blanked out on some of those questions. It's the short answer questions...those are the ones that I'm most likely to blank out on.

Multiple choice? eh, take a wild guess...there's a 20% chance you'll be right.
Long answer? Most of the long answer questions are based on opinion where no answer is necessarily right/wrong. Just answer the question, throw in a couple of terms from any of the chapters the test is based on, and that's about it. Not bad at all.

But those short answer questions really messed me up :( I think I may get a B on this one. And the thing is...B is not a bad mark! But I'm really trying to pull off straight A's this semester. I really gotta learn to not be so hard on myself! What the heck is wrong with a B???

In other news, I received my bloodwork back from Rose. It all looks pretty good. My hemoglobin is holding strong at 127 (or 12.7 for my friends in the USA...and elsewhere that measures hemoglobin like that! :) ) So I'm happy that's all good. I have to see my rheumy in April to make sure the Lupus aspect of things still look good. The last thing I need on my back is a flare mucking everything up.

I can't believe that a tech came to my house a few weeks ago to investigate my "No Water" alarms whenever I'm disinfecting...and I'm still having the same dumb problems! Another tech is supposed to come either today or tomorrow, we'll just have to wait and see.

Now I need to study for my Business Applications (aka computers) test today. It's an online test that I can write whenever I want...just as long as its written before 4pm tomorrow as there is a 1 week allottment.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Poor, Neglected Blog!

So I've been neglecting this blog like crazy. I've just been so busy, tired, overworked, etc.

In spite of all of this, I am actually doing quite well. I definitely have no complaints.

Last weekend, myself and all of the girls went to the restaurant Canyon Creek for one of the girl's birthdays. I haven't been there in ages. I got a salad, mashed potatoes, and prime rib. I was so full that I felt like I could pass out.

Yesterday, I went to see a urologist. He didn't tell me much that I didn't already know. He told me that I have a scar on my stomach, but since kidneys are usually transplanted on either side, it didn't matter that I have a scar down the middle.

No seriously, that's what he told me...and then the appointment was over. I took 3 hours off of work to see a specialist for this? Don't get me wrong, this doctor was like super duper nice, however I just feel like the whole visit was unecessary.

I got my math test back today. It's the math test we wrote 2 weeks ago...and I studied my tail off. I'm pleased to say that I got 43.5/50. When the prof handed the tests back, we had to sign a piece of paper signifying the fact that we did in fact receive the paper back. The list that the prof had us sign had everyone's name pre-printed on it, as well as everyone's mark. A LOT of people failed that test. There were a lot of marks in the teens, but most were below 10. The lowest one that I saw was a 4.5 out of 50. How sad. I got the 3rd highest mark in the class, so I'm quite pleased about that.

Just as I suspected, all of these jerks who talk to much and don't pay attention in class were the same ones running up to the prof just as soon as they got their tests back to ask stupid questions. "How much is this test out of when it comes to our final mark? Is there a do-ever test? Will the final have material from this test on it???"

After we received our tests back, the professor continued on with the lesson she was teaching at the beginning of the class as we have another test in 3 weeks. Hmm...the class was so silent and attentive that you could hear a pin drop. Interesting.

I have another business concepts test on Tuesday. I plan on ace-ing that test as well, so I'm going to study for a bit, dialyze, wake up, take my bloodwork to the lab, come home, rest a bit, then study some more!
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