Saturday, June 28, 2008

So Important to remember to be thankful

I went out for an early dinner with my friend (bff) Sarah (I hate the expression, or perhaps 'abbreviation' "bff") On my way home on the bus, I heard a car honking its horn repeatedly. At first, I thought it was somebody honking their horn because of a soccer game that may have just occured. But I turned around in time to see a young gentleman, perhaps 16-18years old, being attacked by about 4 or 5 other boys. It was over just as soon at it started at the attackers scattered in different directions.

The boy who was attacked was still on the ground in a sitting position when a female who was on the other side of the street ran over to see if he was ok. She helped him up and he seemed to be ok. Another person who was at the bus stop with him began to talk to him as well. It was then that the bus I was on drove away.

When I got home, I told my mom what had happened. The situation reminded me of a run in my brother had with some thugs back in 1996. What made that particular day so memorable and awful at the same time was the fact that I had been admitted to the hospital because of Lupus for the first time. The day that my brother had this run in was the same day that I myself was being discharged from sick kid's hospital for the first of many times.

How disheartening that must be for a parent...being so happy to bring one child home only to have to take another one in. My brother wasn't badly injured..just a small cut on his head. But he did go in for observation.

This lead my mom to remember the story of when I had a seizure at home. I remember bits and pieces of the story as I'm sure I've mentioned this story on my blog already. However there are parts of the story that I did not know until today.

My mom told me that I was in bed...and wasn't feeling well. I remember not feeling well and having severe stomach pain. I don't remember much after that.

My mom told me that I was shaking...then I'd stop...then I'd start up again. The ambulance came to take me to the hospital. My dad rode with me while my sister drove my mom to the hospital. In the back of the ambulance, I'd go from being sort of okay to not okay at all. My mom told me that they had to stop the ambulance a few times to tend to me and make sure I was ok. When I got to the hospital, I was still seizing. Doctors upon doctors and nurses upon nurses were trying to hold me down. Straps were used to hold me down but I just removed them in my unconscious state of fits.

My parents were so scared. My dad left the room that they had taken me to and sat on the floor, crying. He was helpless. He then got up and called 3 family friends. He told them he didn't know what was going on with me. I don't think he's ever come straight out and told me this, but he thought he was going to lose me.

All this time, I was still seizing on and off while my blood pressure sky rocketed to dangerous heights. 250+ something over 170+something. They had tried everything they could think of but my blood pressure just wouldn't go down. All the uncontrolled seizing didn't help either.

Finally, they called in one of the doctors who was looking after me. He was a handsome gentleman who had come to Toronto from....I believe it was Australia. He had only come to toronto for a short time, then he'd be back to Australia to continue practising there. Dr. Craig came in and saw me in the state I was in. He was an honestly and truly caring person. He was surprised to see me in such a state, especially since I had just seen him the day before...and I was completely fine.

After exhausting every other option, it was decided that I'd be put to sleep for 3 days. I was given some sort of medication and off to sleep I went.

A nurse sat beside me for the next 3 days around the clock. When one nurse's shift ended, another one was there to relieve her. My blood pressure and vital signs were monitored closely. Various cocktails of blood pressure medications were given to me in an attempt to see which lowered my blood pressure most effectively. It wasn't easy as I seemed to be very resistant to many of the medications given. Eventually, the right combination was found and my blood pressure began to normalize.

When I woke up, my mom said that the first thing I said was "Mommy? Daddy?" My mom said that my voice sounded like the voice of an angel.




I remember my first seizure as well. This time I was in the hospital already, getting cyclophosphamide via IV. It didn't agree with me. My mom was getting ready to leave as it was getting late. It was then that I started acting weird. My hand started twitching and I became despondent. My mom let out a scream. Nurses and doctors flew in there seconds later. One doctor scooped me up in his arms and rushed out of the room, nurses following close behind. They took me into another room in order to revive/restablize me. My father came into the room as well but my mother had to stay behind. She had to wait 15 minutes to find out what was going on. My father came out and told her that I was fine and would stay in the ICU for a while.

I sometimes find it hard to believe that I've been through so much. There are so many people who have been through much less than I have and they aren't here anymore to talk about it.


I'm not only glad, but extremely thankful that I'm here to talk about it.

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