Monday, June 9, 2008

Finding Balance in Life

You know what my problem is? Sometimes I get super ahead of myself.

When good things happen in my life, I have the tendancy to get super excited and start planning all sorts of stuff. For example, as I've mentioned several times, I've been taking cake decorating classes as well as cake baking classes and such. Since that has happened, I've had a few cake requests. I have a request to make little cakes for a baby shower on the 22 of this month, and I also have a request for a wedding cake and a pre-wedding cake for the month of October. I've been more than happy to take on all of these challenges.

Now what do I need to remember? The unpredictability of Lupus.

The last thing that I'd want is to promise someone that I'm going to make their wedding cake in October, then I go through some crazy wacky Lupus flare 2 weeks before and end up in the hospital. Luckily I haven't had a serious Lupus flare in quite some time, but it's also not something to simply just forget about because it can happen.

On top of that, sometimes I just accept and accept projects without considering the fact that I need to pace myself. I've had Lupus since I was 14, and I'm still simply not used to "pacing myself". It almost reads like a storybook: teenaged girl, 14, went from being the student council president, valedictorian and participating on every single sports team to being bedridden and barely able to find the energy to walk 4 feet to the washroom.

I've always said that yes, I have Lupus, but no, it doesn't have me. At the same time, I have to be realistic and not bite off more than I can chew. I just hope that I'm making the right choices and not adding undue stress to myself....though lying complacent would ultimately add stress to my life as well.

I'll make it through my thoughts and apprehensiveness. I always do.

2 thought(s):

butterfly girl said...

I totally feel this comment! This happens to me all the time - I get very excited about projects and think - yeah I'm feeling good. But then I get super overwhelmed or have a flare, or whatever and end up seeming like a flake to people because I have to cancel. Finding balance is SOO hard! I've had lupus for 11 years now, and i still don't have it down all the time. But you know, I guess I would rather seem like a flake sometimes than put everything on hold "just in case"

Miz Flow said...

i agree with you 100%, butterfly girl. Lying complacent simply isn't my style. I'm slowly learning that it's ok to say no sometimes and people aren't going to hate you for doing so. But I've gotta live my life as I see fit! If I make the decision to totally totally limit myself, then heaven forbid, I should pass away because I accidentally walked off of a cliff or I got hit in the head by a stray pebble or something, it would certainly suck to die never having known what it really is to live.

 
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